Twilight Saga

At last, I watched the Twilight's Breaking DAwn Part 1...

My feelings for this movie has always been gray. I can't decide whether I like it or not , or it is worth my wampum and time.  I definitely like LOTR, HP and Narnia , but Twilight is one of those movies that when someone asks me whether I like it , I can only reply ‘Hmmmm…”.

So ,why I headed for the movie today?

One of my few friends here in VA named Ate Christine has a huge crush on Robert Pattinson and so do I. Though Edward Cullen’s smile can be creepy, there is an ethereal part of it that inexplicably affects me. I guess that’s why he is called a vampire.

Unlike , Harry Potter, LOTR and Narnia, I haven't read the  Twilight book before I purchase a movie ticket so there is that element of surprise. I am also a  sucker for love triangle ,  so Jake’s existence,  for me, added  spice to the story.

I guess I am also a hopeless romantic and proud of it. For me a story is not a story if there is no facet of serendipity, rebellion, tragedy and exuberant devotion . Have you seen Bella almost killing herself for the love of Edward?

Per my research, Twilight’s author is a practicing and devout member of the church of LDS. I love her for adding purity of marriage in the book. What made that honeymoon in Brazil so fresh and thrilling  was that they were doing the act of love for the first time. Kind of funny too after seeing its aftermath, don’t you think? Wink!

Yet, why am I hesitant to give this saga at least a three-star mark?

I don’t like the character of Bella. Period. She is a disgrace to women.  I can’t understand why a century-old and wise person oops vampire like Edward would fall for her. Have you seen how fragile and depressed she was just because Edward was nowhere to be seen in the previous movie? I always hate the saying” you complete me” and that is how she acts for Edward. One’ cant love when one is not complete. I guess she just caught one  of my peeves---- weak women who can’t live without their men.

Then, there is the story plot. And sorry to disappoint you, it all revolves around protecting Bella and supporting her whimsical and selfish decision. Codes and treaties were deemed unsacred for the love of Bella. Is she worth it?Yeah, I sound so jealous of her , right? Well at least Frodo’s supporter knows they are having a hard time fighting the Orcs so that the ring can be destroyed or Cedric Diggory died knowing he’s helping Harry Potter destroy Voldemort. 

Yes,  a story is not a story without a tragedy but not a tragedy solely for the evil family . So far, who died among the Cullen family? Who sacrifice for the greater good  ( if indeed there is a greater good) ? 

Oh well,  I haven’t made up my mind about this saga.  For all it’s worth, I enjoyed watching it with Ate Christine  and talking about it with my friends online.

What is it like?

Today is another blue-sky day and yet another day more towards winter. The leaves have changed their monotone colors and have started evolving into a fire dance. Gone are the days where the wind brings in a symphony of humdrum songs from the ice cream truck and giggles of innocent children in the street. The parks have called it a rest and succumbed to the silence of the beaches and woods till spring comes in their midst. Oh the fall indeed ushered the great winter and such passage is a perpetual mystery.

Everyone around me is silent and the leaves seem to be sleeping. Where are the deer that pay visit at my backyard and brave the evil plans of humanity? The trains are still in a far away land and their sounds will yet wake me up in my slumber or will they be delayed? I am aware that what I perceived as happening is not true. The world is moving on, without any thought of a destination. Everyone I guess is living, with a purpose on their cups. They have beliefs of immortality, thus they creep into whatever crevices they find themselves jovial. No thoughts of consequences, or what ripples it can cause in the river of life. No guilt to answer to or shadows to fear for. Their road continues without end . Free yet bounded by self and the vulnerability of being alone in a wide and stark desert.

I envy them not though I am one of them. I desire for the life of those who are immovable when death calls them in . They live their life the same as before whether misery ushers them in its hall of tears. They have found adventures in the mundane of life and only them have embraced the exquisite beauty of poverty . Nothing can shake their footstool . Each of their moment is a chance for weaving their tapestry of eternal life. Why can’t I not one of them?

syrupy concoction of a sleepy-head

Blame it on the diet Pepsi I gobbled after 6pm. Now, I am still up amidst the monotone sound of the dryer in the laundry room . My husband who is not so friendly with the sleep fairy is now snoozing while I am here updating my long lost blog. I wonder who reads this anyway.

My last entry was more than a year ago. I talked about my latest work with children with autism and my eternal weight struggle. I did go to the marathon but because I flipped my ankle , I only finished two miles short of my 9-mile goal. It was a new experience which I decided long ago I will not do again. Running is not for me really. I rather be in the ocean and be with the fishes.

I still work with children with autism but not anymore in a school setting. I decided five months ago to pursue a professional certification and become a behavior analyst. So now, I am a full time student and hoping to be be done with school and certification by January of 2012.

According to my family and friends, I seems to be well adjusted to my new home already. Why not when I've been here for the past three years now. I witnessed a change of president, harsh winter, three super bowl games, acquired many friends from different countries and have been paying monthly mortgage. And so they thought...

Some things never change. I still eat rice , crave for those awful smelling shrimp paste and Filipino food, sleeps in the same position and commits same kind of sin , more or less...And worst, I still miss my parents.

They say that time can heal all wounds. You forget your ex-boyfriend or you forget whatever grudges you keep against someone as time passes by. But I guess not the grief of losing both of your parents.

I do miss my Papang and Mamang and I verbalize such feelings in so many behavior. Anger, resentment, failure and most of all guilt are just few of those forms of behavior. When can I get over this with? When can this end?

updates!

Such a long hibernation from blogging! BUt here comes the bear waking up in the early days of the summer!

So what's up with me lately? I've been so busy with work and my patience has been tested a zillion times . But funny to think that I just love my work! Our students though has autism, are angels and it is my privilege to train and form them. With regards to my weight problem, I have to say I am still a failure. But guess what? I signed up for a 9-mile walk/run this coming fall in upstate New York. Blame my friends and a chitchat over red wine for that! I really did take a leap of faith and I hope this time grace will fall over me and find myself in the finishing line. If you ask me about my adjustment in my new home, I would say it is getting better each day. I made lots of friends and had fun karaoking and hiking with them. We talked about anything under the sun, cries over each others problems and bear each others loads. It is indeed helpful that I have decided to bond with them the way I bonded with my friends back in the Philippines. I guess my roots are taking deeply in my new hometown's soil and I love every minute of it. There are booboos every now and then but I am thankful of them, it keep my life interesting and colorful. Just today, i was pulled over by the police officer for the first time. I thought , after he got my license and registration card, I can leave and just retrieve what he confiscated when I paid the fine. So then, i turn on my engine and drive slowly. Taanaaaan! There he comes again , this time thge siren lights turn on! What an ignorant Asian woman I am ! Well, though i have to pay the fine, i thank him and bid him a good day. Perhaps, he felt sorry for giving me a ticket.

So then, that's a bit of my life...I am looking forward to some travelling this year--- Seattle, Mexico and my beloved Philippines! I might post the pictures here . And i hope to post my new me in the fall after our 9mile run...

A twig for fire.

Once in a while, I do appreciate downbeat attitude thrown at me. It shows that people care, even if they plainly flooding it in a harmful way. What you just said that erupted character toxins in the air , has more or less effects on them. They have strong convictions over some issues you hate or love about, and the mere fact that they risk approval of the majority for that matter is worth a standing ovation.

Yes, I do appreciate hate words, even those from the pro-choice and pro-abortion side of the earth and yes, even an “f” sign from that reckless driver down interstate 495.

But what I hate most is apathy.

Apathy lingers everywhere. I have seen it from my high school student’s blank stare after a well prepared lesson on issues of morality, freedom and responsibilities. It caused an uncalled death of a homeless guy in downtown D.C because 160 plus people passing by were scared to stop the attacker and worst too busy to call 911. Apathy may have been the reason why a visiting man just died of heart attack in a busy hallway of a hospital in Maryland and in millions of crime and injustices around the world.

I do think in many times I am completely guilty of endorsing and living apathy in my life. Worst, I hurt people and led them away from the truth and happiness because of that. It is sad to say that those I loved are the most victimized of my version of apathy. Surely, parents know well what I am saying.

And so a resolution—to hate what I hate most ! It is hard, I know , but the mere fact I realize it, is enough to start a new beginning. And if I fail, may I not go further in the mud the next time.

Crazy day

I feel like it has been ages since i wore my flip flops and adorned myself with short sleeves clothes. But today, lo and behold , the weather is like a heat wave that ushers my sundress and sandals out from the storage bin. One can think that spring is coming soon! But of course we all know that this is just a false hope. I won't be surprised if next week, schools will be closed due to a snow storm and I will find myself sipping my favorite tea and enjoying the comforts of my fleece blanket.



Weather truly mirrors life, don't you think?

of books and memories

So I started this all girls book club with my friends last fall while listening to a jazz band at Washington monument mall. I have been concocting this idea of a monthly get together with my newly found friends and just talk anything under sun but most of all about books we read while sipping our favorite wine or coffee. Finally, we launched it last October by reading the book Left to Tell. Just tonight , we feel so productive after coming up with a complete reading list for the entire year. I guess we chose a good selection of books that would warm our hearts and hypothalamus for the next months!

One thing I am happy about tonight too is that two of the books I suggested was chosen. The Heart of Darfur is a story or a New Zealander nurse whose works in Africa is a witness of the dignity of suffering and pain. I am sure this can help me realize again that in our weaknesses we are strong. Another book is Called out of Darkness, an autobiography of Anne Rice, the famous writer of Interview with the Vampire. How daring is this woman to share her intimate spiritual experience!

Likewise, I am equally excited to read the books my friends put in the list and happy to be back on reading again. It has been my consoling hobby ever since I can remember. Who else could introduce me to this friend but my own mother? Gossh this might end up to a nostalgic walk down memory lane again. I just miss my Mamang. I grew up not finding anything that can connect me to her except love for books. During my high school years, my mother had post-menopausal struggles while I was discovering myself as a teenager. That was truly a disastrous mix for a daughter and mother team but what made us talked like civilized people were books and reader’s digest magazines. Books was this magical glue that bonded us and has been the fabric that created our tapestry of memories.

The book club I started is I guess my way of living her memory. Whew I just realized that while finishing this entry . Hmmm… better say Good night now before a flood of grief overflows!